So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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