so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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