Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
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okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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