How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
