just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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