So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
