Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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