Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
