woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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