I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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