Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
