No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
