I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
