you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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