meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
