i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
