Non-Jews are for practice
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
