I saw his package. It spoke to me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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