i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
