I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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