I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
