It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
