well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
