Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
