I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
