U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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