I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
