Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Who wears a wallet chain?!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
