last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
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Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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