Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
