You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
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