Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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