Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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