omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
