you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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