at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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