Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just cropdusted the office
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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