i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
