I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
