Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
