Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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