Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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