I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
