i permit you to call me
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
