I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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