Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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