why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
