Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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