so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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