What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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