dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE