Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I'm drive I can fine osifer

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  (212): I'm drive I can fine osifer http://tfl.nu/zjuj
  Replies (28) Good night (1407) Bad night (2145)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.

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  (308): It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail. http://tfl.nu/m40v
  Replies (18) Good night (952) Bad night (4644)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme

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  (647): btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme http://tfl.nu/51hh
  Replies (10) Good night (3890) Bad night (841)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.

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  (215): its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass. http://tfl.nu/z2s4
  Replies (17) Good night (738) Bad night (5758)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.

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  (517): at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees. http://tfl.nu/qho2
  Replies (10) Good night (2988) Bad night (783)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.

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  (907): Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/278e
  Replies (20) Good night (6503) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?

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  (971): Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life? http://tfl.nu/shks
  Replies (11) Good night (757) Bad night (2981)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...

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  (904): I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast... http://tfl.nu/hk8s
  Replies (7) Good night (1502) Bad night (1504)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.

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  (952): He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan. http://tfl.nu/7ucr
  Replies (17) Good night (862) Bad night (1559)
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  (805): View more from California

  i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party

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  (805): i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party http://tfl.nu/d8gr
  Replies (4) Good night (1878) Bad night (441)
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  (714): View more from California

  Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.

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  (714): Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends. http://tfl.nu/ft9d
  Replies (17) Good night (4431) Bad night (725)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand

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  (412): Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand http://tfl.nu/54cj
  Replies (3) Good night (1214) Bad night (429)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"

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  (+61): Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart" http://tfl.nu/icuk
  Replies (3) Good night (1637) Bad night (365)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow.

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  (570): Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand? (1-570): Wow. http://tfl.nu/2i6h
  Replies (0) Good night (484) Bad night (298)
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  (044): View more from

  fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face

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  (044): fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face http://tfl.nu/nkp3
  Replies (1) Good night (711) Bad night (189)

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