so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
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Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
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It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.