Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im so drunk with asians
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.