Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
