i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
