wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
