you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
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but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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