i love accidental penises.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
