The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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