no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
