this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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