Your dad touched me again.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
