so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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