College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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