I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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