I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
