Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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