He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
